ONWARD AND UPWARD
by Lana Wessel
So let’s say one day, just about any day after the loss of a loved one, you’re sitting and asking the question “Why”?
If their life is over, can anything good have survived? You know there was nothing you could have done to stop it, and your rolling through the endless lists of ‘if onlys’ and ‘what if’s’. You do have a choice and begin making the decisions of what is to be salvaged.
Will your life change? Outside of the obvious, it does’nt have to stop there. Will you use what you know to help others through hardship, or will you sit forever in the ‘why me’ world? Because death is not the end but rather a final frontier. We know where they are, now where do we go from here?
I start by taking stock of what is left. What can I still do? There is without reason not to go ahead with the plans we had as surely some things will never happen, but some things can and will.
Natalie and I wanted to try a new church, we were not happy with our present state of worship. I had to go alone when Natalie moved on and I did for the both of us. I now have a whole new outlook on my relationship with God. It is such a great gift from such a tragedy. I find that I am drawn to people who are suffering a loss and I am able to give them hope. I made it and you will too. I truly know where my daughter is and I have made peace with death. I know she will be waiting for me, a cherished and valuable relief. I am able to look at the everyday problems with renewed perspective, and sort out what is just not that important that leads to less stress. I have been given the ability to let go and I no longer need sovenirs of life. Memories and people keep me going, we can’t take our stuff along anyway. Holding on to the past slows us down. Forgiveness is huge! Anger and grudges are heavy baggage. We will all face someone over a coffin someday, it is hard enough wityhout dragging the past with you.
By now you are probably thinking that this may sound well and good, but what about the bad days? The days where you just can’t breath. I still have them, and always will. It would not say much for love if we could really get over it now, would it. When it get too big for me, I usually ask God to carry this day for me cause I just cannot do it for awhile – then I try to get on with my day. There are those days you fight the tears, days they win and I find myself asking the same questions I did before. I feel I now have a few answers, but other answers will not come for a long period of time.
As for life it is still a good life and yes, even happy and so full of promise. There is much to look forward to and do before we see them again. Suffice to say the life of a survivor can be much like a donut – well rounded and sweet, sure there’s always a hole in the middle but we still like to eat them.
So take a big bite, nothing lasts forever.
Tags: articles on grief, inspirational articles, life after death, lifesgift, overcome grief, positive articles
